Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
