I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Watching her eat just hurts me
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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