He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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