a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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