yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
