That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
