whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
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