there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
