im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
