I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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