so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
