Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
