it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
