Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
