i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
