Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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