carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Acid is not a monday night drug
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize