At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
