I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
