Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
