why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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