Porn is love you can see.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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