fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
