I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize