just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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