and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize