i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude i'm inner monologue high
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
