apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
