i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
