he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
