He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
