oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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