Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
