Apparently you make a good broom.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
