Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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