So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
wow bdsm is so cute
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
