I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
