have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
