i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
