Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
