what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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