Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
