We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
