Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
