Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Randomize