Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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