Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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