he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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