ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
