So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
