it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
