Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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