before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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