the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
