he thought i was a dude.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
