why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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